Busy Signal

I should have saved this picture for this post. I feel like it totally captures what our days have been like around here lately (although I finally captured Mollie smiling in a picture and usually Sam and Emmeline are smiling). Our lives are busy...and that is putting it lightly.

When people see me in the store with the girls, they immediately smile and say, "Oh, those girls are so cute. What fun." That is immediately followed by "you must be very busy." "Yes," I say, "and that is my 3-year-old right over there too (pointing to the inquisitive little boy who is busy taking something off of the shelf and shaking it/squeezing it." This immediately causes the passerby to step back with an undeniable look of "I'm so glad that is not me and I don't know how she does it." It's a look I've seen and comments I've heard more than I care to say. I don't blame people for being honest, and most are more than nice, but it leaves me with an uneasy feeling. I'm stressed enough tending to 3 very young children. Trying to make sure their days are filled with smiles and happy memories instead of "Hurry up we have to go NOW" and "Please find something to play with for a few minutes because Mom does not have time right now." How do you slow down and enjoy all of the little moments when dishes, laundry, yard work, necessary home improvements, supper and more important, 2 very needy infants and 1 needy toddler demand all of your time?
I remember holding Sam ALL of the time and reading, singing to him nonstop. I feel like all I can do with the girls is make sure they are fed, clothed and changed...and even that is a struggle. Oh, I know, they get their share of hugs and kisses, but it's nothing like the time I had to dote on Sam (lucky little guy). I feel guilty...I feel stressed...I feel like I'm not doing enough when I know there is not a bit more I could physically and emotionally do.
So what is life with twins and a toddler???...it's HARD. It's physically and mentally draining. I now know what it means to literally fall into bed at night. How did those mothers of 10 children on the prarie/farm do it? They made it look easy. I don't want to send Sam to preschool yet. I don't feel like he or I are ready for that step. But there are days when he demands so much attention that I wonder if I'm doing the right thing. My heart says keep my children at home for now...enjoy them. I am working on finding a routine that makes our days a bit easier for all of us. We have a babysitter 2 mornings a week, which allows me to go and do things with Sam 1:1 like we used to. That has made a big difference. And we have Shellie, as I mentioned in a recent post, who has been our savior more than I can mention. She gives us opportunities to take Sam on outings with Mom and Dad and encourages us to take date nights (what are those?) and is a helping hand when we need one. But life is still incredibly busy from morning until night and sometimes inbetween. I know this is just a stage and that we will look back on it in the years to come and see how quickly it went by (and will maybe even wish we were back in these younger years once the middle/high school years hit:). But I want to make the best of this stage. I want to figure out how to have more happy, carefree moments and less hectic "gotta-get-this-done-now" moments. I feel so incredibly blessed to have these 3 amazing young children and I love them to pieces. Therefore each day I pray and ponder what I can do to make our days filled with more laughter, learning and adventure. I love watching our children grow...how do I find more balance during this crazy, hectic time? Rhetorical question of course, one that I am constantly pondering...just as I know many other mothers of multiples and young children do.

So there it is...I just had to get it out there. Call it venting, call it a look into our real lives, or call it what you may. WE ARE BUSY! But we are also happy and are surrounded by so much love that it keeps us going day by day. Who knows what type of adventure will be around the next corner:)