A couple weeks ago I read yet another great post from a great mom blogger over at Clover Lane. I reference her often, don't I:) She has such great words of advice and experience and knows how to put things into words that are often on my mind. The post that caught my attention was called Fortitude. Such a strong word...and it's stayed in my mind ever since I read that post. She refers to fortitude as a trait to describe strength and consistency in motherhood. Even when the going gets tough...we mothers are that rock, and role model that our kids and spouses look to for consistency. She describes it much better than I, but it is a great post that left quite an impression on me. I can't get the word fortitude out of my head. Why???
I feel like my "fort" is being attacked and is ready to fall. I need some reinforcement of some kind:) I want to be that rock...that consistent role model...that mom that always keeps her cool and can fold laundry and bake bread while wrangling 3 little ones with her free hand...that mom who cooks a 3 course meal and pays the bills while the kids are napping...the one who plants a garden and weeds the flowerbed while her children play beside her. Does this really happen, or is it only in my head that I "should" be able to do all of this??? Truth be known, I have laundry bins that are overflowing and a pile of mail that needs to be moved into a crate because I just can't keep up with it. I feel like I'm meerly meeting needs right now and not able to carve much quality time into our days. When the kids are in bed, I hop into bed just so I can rest and get a break. That doesn' t leave much time for cooking, paying bills and doing laundry, does it?
It's an absolute joy watching all 3 of my children grow and change each day. ABSOLUTE JOY! But it's also exhausting...literally leaving me with no energy for anything else. Mollie is a tornado, leaving a trail of evidence behind her wherever she goes. And she is a climber. Just yesterday she climbed up on the kitchen table! I went to take the lunch dishes into the kitchen and I had barely set them on the counter when I heard Sam say "Mom...come quick...Mollie is ON the table." Unbelievable! And I thought I had nearly everything babyproofed...okay, babyproofed, but not "Mollie-proofed." The other day she tried to climb up the side of our wrought-iron bakers rack and got her pants caught on one of the metal spindles...glad I was right there when that happened. And Emmeline has quite the "spirit!" She wants everything Mollie has and isn't afraid to take it. She'll push Mollie away and grab things out of her hands and has even resorted to using her foot to push Mollie down. REALLY??? At 14 months??? She screams and arches her back when she isn't happy about something...but she hasn't climbed onto the kitchen table yet:) And Sam, he tries so hard to be good with all of this, but I know he misses (as do I) all the time we used to spend together. He loves these girls (or "my girls" as he calls them:) to pieces, but gets the attention he needs anyway he can get it these days. I wish I had more time to focus on him alone because he is such a smart, fun little guy to be around...when he is busy and engaged in something. He is such a happy soul and I am so greatful for the hugs and smiles I get from him each day.
So there they are...my ramblings about life as it is at this moment. Full, busy, hectic, joyful, exhausting, chaotic, funny...I could go on, but someone is waking up early from their nap, so it's time to focus on that word "fortitude" and all that it entails once again...my break is over:)
2 comments:
I'll come and help you sort your mail any day. Wish I was closer so I could. We've heard it a million times "housework is never done", and now you are truly being faced with your practice to be at peace with that.
Hope you feel compassion in your heart for yourself today and every day. None of us can do it all. Some days being aware and watching the day unfold with calm breath is all you can do. And that is wonderful. It is awareness of the present moment with a feeling of gratitude.
Love to you.
What a wise woman Elizabeth is. I love her words of advice.
Jessica, We have seen your mothering first hand and Bird and I were in awe! There are days when Bird and I are wiped out and we have only 1! We cannot possibly imagine how you do it day in and day out with 3 children. Bottom line, it's not easy being a parent. I've learned there will always be piles or chores to tackle tomorrow. The thing is, the piles can wait our kids will not.
Do I need to remind you of all the ways you are a wonderful mom and the fab decisions you and Ed have already made? I will you know!
I have witnessed all the time, love and joy you put into your kids. You leave no stone unturned when it comes to them. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You aren't Superwoman and they don't expect you to be. All they need or want you to be is present and involved in their lives, which you are! Yaya finds I'm a little too present and involved. LOL She can't get away with much w/o me knowing it or catching her in the act.
Something I've learned. Make the crockpot your best friend. It's a mom's best secret weapon. That and every meal doesn't have to be a masterpiece. Roasted chicken, salad and/or grilled cheese or PB&J sandwiches are a hit with dads and kids anytime.
Post a Comment